Tuesday, February 14, 2006

The Hardest Part of My Week.

This moment right here is the one I dread most. 1030 pm the night before clinicals. I picked out my patient at 11am and have been preparing most of the day. But no matter when I pick out the patient or how much time I give myself to prepare, I never manage to get to bed before 11pm.

That's usually not so bad, but I have to be up before 5am in order to get ready and commute. I pity my classmates that have to drive over an hour. After 10 pm, I start thinking of the time in "possible hours of sleep remaining".

I have just completed a pathology card, a bunch of drug cards, and a ridiculously meticulous set of care plans (that aren't nearly so strictly categorized in real life). I am ready to give a report on everything in the morning from memory. I am very tired. I am going to take a shower in about 3 minutes, then climb into bed and hope I fall asleep quickly. Sometimes that's hard to do, because my anxiety about needing to fall asleep as soon as possible keeps me from my goal. I get stuck in a quasi-conscious mental loop. Only thing to do then is get up and pace for a while until my brain untangles.

I'm not a bad student. (I ended up making an A on that last Patho test by the way.) But I feel like there is no way to be fully and comfortably prepared for any given day at the hospital. There aren't enough hours. Even if you start early, your requirements somehow expand to fill the time. (I admire those working-mom-students. How the hell do they do it?) I can only hope that I retain everything that I cram into my brain on nights like these, so it eventually becomes less work. I have the suspicion that won't happen, however. Just when you get comfortable in school, they start pushing you more. Instructor Sarcastic pushes me daily.

So. Bedtime. I could talk more, but I'd be cheating myself out of sleep.

9 Comments:

Heather,

I am sure that at times like these you are wondering why you are doing this to yourself, why make life so torturous. Well, try to keep your goal in mind. know that all this hard work will pay off and all the pain and insomnia you put with now will make you a better nurse in the future. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. In the words of Beavis and Butthead "I have seen the mountain, and it is good." ;-)

Good luck with clinicals and try to get some sleep this weekend if you can. :-D

Dustin
http://azx-raytechstudent.blogspot.com

By Blogger ArizonaDB, at Thursday, February 16, 2006 at 3:18:00 PM PST  

You're always so positive Dustin. I appreciate you. ^_^

By Blogger esunasoul, at Thursday, February 16, 2006 at 7:51:00 PM PST  

What a WHINER.

Wait, what I meant to say was, "Poor baby!"

Chin up and all that, Heather. Take a minute to yoga breathe. I substitute that for sleeping all the time.

And I am perfectly rational and unstressed on only threeeeeee hours of sgreep rast nite. Hee!

Cronie

By Anonymous Anonymous, at Friday, February 17, 2006 at 10:00:00 PM PST  

Heather, I recently found your blog. I want to become a nurse and have linked to your blog from my site. Good luck!

~Jaxia
http://www.youknowyouwanna.net

By Blogger Jaxia, at Wednesday, February 22, 2006 at 6:26:00 PM PST  

Hiii, I am a pre-nursing student. Love your journal. The past couple of days it didn't work and I thought you deleted it, but now it is back--woo!

By Blogger Nicole, at Tuesday, February 28, 2006 at 9:34:00 AM PST  

I put a link up to you over at Mediblogopathy. Feel free to pick up a NurseBlogs logo badge if you like!

-HK
http://mediblogopathy.blogspot.com

By Blogger HypnoKitten, at Sunday, March 5, 2006 at 9:56:00 AM PST  

Honey! You are singing my song. Ditto to all of the above -- no sleep, long commute to school, writing and researching and then waking up hourly to check if it's time to wake up yet.

Sigh. But, I'm old enough to be yer mom. Hang in there, hon. The world needs good nurses.

Found you on hypnokitten's blog.

By Blogger Third Degree Nurse, at Tuesday, March 14, 2006 at 4:30:00 PM PST  

Girl I'm in nursing school too and I had to giggle aloud when I read the comment about counting in "hours left of sleep".. that must be a common thread among us. ;o) I enjoy reading. It's good to know we're aren't alone in this journey!

By Blogger rn2bjoni, at Sunday, March 19, 2006 at 6:52:00 PM PST  

Keep your head up. It is hard, I know, but it is so do-able. I am the mother of five and some times it seems like there is not enough time in the day to accomplish everything...let alone sleep. Uggh right now I am staring at a care plan and a path. card due tomorrow, an online quiz tonight a test on Thursday and my husband is going to be out of town all week so I'll have no help. LMAO. But like Dustin said, "There is a light at the end of the tunnel". So keep your head up and keep trudging on!!

By Anonymous Jen A., at Sunday, June 22, 2008 at 7:30:00 AM PDT  

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